The Meaning of "Relax" - by Khai Tran

(written part of  black belt grading examination) 

 

 

Looking back thirteen years ago, I am grateful that Aikido has offered me an invaluable tool of training the body and mind. In this essay, I want to discuss about the word “RELAX” that you could often hear from sensei in every single class. So, what is the meaning of the RELAX with respect to the body, to the mind, to the relationship between you and your partners, and to the way you learn a technique shown in the class? 

When you begin to learn something new, you are shown to do this and that, and you are asked to practice with repetition. At the beginning, you find those techniques interesting because they are still new and fresh to you, but you will slowly find the repetition so boring. You will start to question, with your very limited understanding, whether or not it works. The most common question is “Does it work in the real situation”? Of course, the answer is “No”. There are many things still missing including your muscle memory, your posture, proper utilization of your strength, timing, etc. We tend to rush into the techniques with a mind so uptight and full of frustration. Often, we are not able to see the whole big picture of the technique, because we don’t know how to learn. When the technique does not work, we start to blame the others but not ourselves. We begin to identify favourite partners versus non favourite ones. I made the same mistake. When you come and ask sensei, and his answer is always “you got to RELAX”.

Slowly, I begin to understand the meanings of the word RELAX. When I am shown a new technique, I need to have a clear mind with a hundred percent belief that the technique would work. Physically, I take a deep breath and slowly breathe out to let my muscles RELAX. I then observe by capturing as much detail as possible the posture and all movements shown to the point that I can still play back with my eyes close. Slowly, I imitate the movements, step by step and practice repetition to implant memory into the muscles. I might not fully understand at first, but I just copy exactly the form. I also practice by observing the techniques performed by my partners to detect any similarities and differences compared to those shown by sensei. When he stop and correct us, I pay attention to his explanation or suggestion and practice right away what he had said although it might not be easy at the beginning. I then continue practicing those new ways in my following classes. It is the best opportunity to do fine tuning of the technique. My class is right after the beginner class. I like to come ten to fifteen minutes earlier to observe and learn from how the class was conducted and the difficulties of the students while performing the techniques. It is a great opportunity when I can see the techniques done in a basic way that is they are broken down into steps.

I remember how clumsy at my very first time of holding the iaito (a long sword used to practice Iaido), and my cutting was very awkward. However, without disappointment, I realize that the only way to perfect it is to imitate what I was shown and practice with repetition. Most South-East Asian people know how to use chopsticks because we use it every day. So, at the beginning, I continued to practice with my iaito every night at my backyard during that summer and being mindful to the contraction and RELAXation of my arms’ muscles. Slowly, I was able to hear the sound of each cut, which was very satisfactory, alone in the dark. In one summer camp and in the morning, there were about twenty of us performing suburi on iaito, each of us counted fifty times, so it was about one thousand cut and tsuki all together that we had to do. Closing my eyes and let my body RELAX while following my breathing and the sound of every single cut, no words could describe the experience of that moment. I also practicing RELAX in the drawing and shielding of the iaito to minimize the rattling sound. 

As a Uke, it is very important to RELAX and follow the leading of my partner right at the moment the technique is being executed. By RELAXing, I am able to enter into my partner’s domain, submit myself to the technique and let myself be carried by the movement of the technique. By this way, I am able to feel the strength and weakness of my partner, and to enter and exit safely to prevent potential injury. Being thrown and let my body roll out from a technique is also an art. At the beginning, I tend to choose a partner to practice with because some are quite rough and less flexible compared to the others. However, when I learn how to RELAX and let go, I enjoy practicing with different people. Recently, I start to practice RELAX in ground work, in which I let myself being dominated and try to find a way out by sensing and following the movement of my partner. Only from RELAX and letting myself into the dominating situation of my partner that I am able to find his/her weak point so to counter attack timely and effectively. 

Recently, I begin to practice with an objective to explore the right timing of the Irimi (entering), the proper positioning of the body and the use of appropriate strength in relation to the coming speed and force of the attack. While into the process of the technique, I begin mentally recording the position of my hands and feet while the body is in motion. Only through RELAX and mindfulness that I am able to register that moment, so I can blend and adapt to different physical status of each partner. It is a rewarding experience once I can sense that my movement is in concert with my partner’s. RELAX does not mean weakness or slow-down. It is a commitment that allows me to enter into my partner’s realm in a timely fashion and with as little fear as possible. It is not a situation of life and death here. But it is mostly the fear of failing the technique. Many years ago, I used to be so uptight while performing my Irimi. It was always a bit too soon or too late. To compensate for this shortcoming, I then rushed into the technique by applying inappropriate force. Once that failed, I began to look for shortcuts and frustrations started to build up. Then, when I was corrected, I denied my failure and started questioning the effectiveness of the technique or blaming my partners. Keeping RELAX in mind but focus, I slowly able to correct those limitations and enjoy during my practice. 

Like anything else, it is easier to keep that bad habit than making a correction. At first, it feels clumsy and awkward to change something that I have been doing for years into something apparently new. From working with the beginners, I begin to understand that we are taught a bit differently depending on our level of understanding and readiness. For instance, sensei keeps emphasize about the nagashi and the hand block in the Robusei, or the irimi and the hand block in the Kotegaishi, but I observe that everyone of us perform differently. Sensei might correct the white belts differently than the color belts. He led the students practicing at their own level, and he will correct accordingly. Many of us didn’t get his intention when he makes correction. We may wonder why, with the same technique, he led it pass when we are at lower belt, but he starts correcting when we are at advanced level. I once felt very frustrated and thought that my progress had been plateaued. Luckily, I soon realize that, at the beginning, a student just studied the form of a technique, but then over time throughout practice of repetition and with the proper guidance, we would elevate our understanding beyond the form to reach to other higher levels of understanding. “You just see the tip of the iceberg” is what sensei used to tell me. With all the aforementioned experiences in the dojo, I also practice RELAX in my daily life situation, from which I experience many fruitful results. Discussion of this topic is beyond the scope of this essay.

November 14, 2010 was the day of my black belt test, marking a stepping stone and the beginning of my journey in learning Aikido. Since my first start with Aikido, I have been acquired so many techniques, and now it is time for me to perfect each of those techniques, to achieve the utmost effectiveness of each move, and to polish each execution to reveal its true beauty. There are many things to learn at the dojo, particularly when practicing with the beginners. I have the opportunity to do that once every Wednesday. It is a completely different challenge that one will have the opportunity to review ones knowledge of the basics. After many years of practicing, many of our techniques tend to be deviated from the basics, which are the foundation of all advanced techniques. Another challenge is how to transfer your knowledge to a beginner, who is completely fresh to the Arts.  To me, teaching is learning, and learning is possessing. The art would stay with us for a long time if we learned it properly. I encourage all students of the intermediate and advanced levels to participate in helping out the beginner classes. 

         

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